Define Normal
by Shadows11
Summary: Orphaned young and burdened with a secret about her body, Belle has always felt alone. Though successful at keeping her 'deformity' hidden for years, she's now been found out. Cast out from her village due to her 'perversion', she finds an isolated castle in the woods that may hold the key to acceptance and self love. Themes of intersex, gender identity, and sexual orientation.
1. Ch1: Uncertain & Alone

**AN: I really just wanted to see how this goes.. not entirely sure where this is going to take me or if anyone is interested in a story like this, but any thoughts would be appreciated.**

**Ch1: Uncertain & Alone**

"_Promise me Belle. You must promise me."_

Her mother's fevered words rang in her mind with clarity.

"_But mama, I don't understand."_

"_You must never let anyone find out. Ever. I know this is difficult child, but your father and I won't always be there to protect you. You can never let anyone know."_

Tears streamed down her face as she remembered the words. She hadn't understood as a child what was so different about her. No concept that she was abnormal. But as she had grown, she started to understand the level of her difference and that it wouldn't much matter she was born that way.

But she grew up loved and protected. Her mother and father doting on her. She'd had everything she could want.

Until the fire.

She breathed deeply trying to hold back the flood of tears. She wiped angrily at the moisture on her face. She never cried, and didn't want to start now. Her hand lingered a moment wincing as she came in contact with the unfamiliar feel of rough cropped hair.

Her hair now.

For a moment she indulged in the feeling of loss. The long brown tresses that once graced her shoulders, now completely gone. _No_. Taken.

Shivering, she shook off her thoughts. It was too cold to think of such things now, though a part of her thought how warm and comforting her hair would have been at such a time.

Still, there was no use in dwelling. If she was to survive, she had to be someone different now. She'd cast away the last of Belle and truly become Ben. It wasn't as if the name was new to her. Growing up the children teased her for her masculine features, calling her Ben; the shortened version of her last name Benoit. At least until her thirteenth birthday.

That summer she had changed.

Her features softened some, cheeks became rosy, complexion smoothed, brown hair took on a honeyed sheen, waist slimed from baby fat, her breasts had nearly doubled in size, and her hips started to flare. Yes, she had quite transformed, though she never thought of herself as particularly beautiful.

It was that same summer her mother had sat her down and told her the facts of life. How men and women were different, how their bodies would grow and change, and of course exactly how babies were made.

The moment replayed in her head now.

"_Mama. I don't understand. How can this be?"_

Her mother had stared at her long and hard. It frightened her a little.

"_Darling. This is confusing right now, but you know you are different. I have told you this before. You are so wonderful and special. But not everyone will see it that way. This is why I have told you keep yourself a secret. You must never be with a man."_

Her mother cried. Belle still didn't fully grasp what her mother was telling her.

"_I can never have babies?"_

She had been heartbroken to learn this. She didn't care much for boys, but to one day have children of her own was one of her greatest desires.

"_Oh, my sweet. I know it's unfair. But promise me Belle. You must promise me. Never let anyone know."_

The words hurt then even though she hadn't truly understood them. Now, in wake of recent days, she was glad she had listened and avoided the fallout for as long as she had.

And after her parent's death, no one ever called her Belle. But now, perhaps it was best to forget Belle existed and live as Ben.

"Mama. I'm sorry it didn't last."

The whispered words carried away, lost among the dark forest. Night was creeping in once more, and Belle felt afraid. She'd barely made it the past two nights, and the weather had been fairer then. Now snow covered, the damp ground was leaking into her worn shoes.

Icy wind whipped around her. Her tattered, borrowed coat was large, yet it did little to buffer the chill. And the pants she wore now, also too big, ballooned around her, seeming to fill more with cold air rather than keeping it out.

She needed shelter.

"Mama. Help me. Please help me."

It was beyond reason to think the words would do more than serve to comfort her, but the act of talking to her mother was so ingrained, Belle couldn't imagine not voicing her concerns.

In the years after the fire, under the cruel and watchful eyes of the Lefou family, Belle had sought comfort in speaking to her mother and father. Dead though they were, she felt as if they could hear her. She would tell them of her day, seek guidance on bad days, share in the joy of her good ones.

When a strong wind pushed her forward, she believed perhaps it was her mother giving aid.

"This way?"

The wind twisted nudging her, changing direction ever so slightly once in a while. Belle knew it was madness to follow the wind. She had to be crazy to think it was her mother guiding her. But in her heart, she felt it was.

Night slithered in around her, the cold became more bitter, and it felt hours that Belle had been walking. She was scared now this was it. Then end of her; surely, she would not last through the night.

But as she stumbled forward a vision opened up to her. Iron gates covered with vines seemed to spring up in front of her. Had they been there a moment before? Had she been so distressed, she simply had not noticed?

As she walked closer, the trees seemed to fall away and a large castle loomed above her like a dark mountain. Her eyes widened at the grandeur of the scene before her.

The castle must have been several stories tall, six, maybe seven. Towers with sharp spires seemed to pierce the sky. Though dark and overgrown with vines and weeds, she was surprised to see the building itself was still in rather good shape.

Was it abandoned?

Surely not?

But if not, why was it so dark? So overgrown?

Pushing lightly at the gate they creaked open and clanged loudly behind her after she passed through. It felt some time had passed before she made her way to the actual doors of the castle. And what doors they were. Large, nearly two stories alone. Gargoyle knockers the size of her head adorned them.

Her hand reached out tentatively, but before she could knock, they opened.


	2. Ch2: Touch of A Thorn

**AN: A little more to get a better idea of how my mind is working.. not sure if that's a good thing.. time will tell.**

**Ch2: Touch of a Thorn**

**~Beast POV~**

It wasn't often that Beast was caught off guard. He knew the exact timing of everything that would happen from first light to last. It wasn't a gift, but rather decades of experience where rarely anything changed.

But today, something was off.

He sat straighter in his study; ears pricked listing for what he could only describe as a feeling in the air.

The hair on the back of his neck rose, a warning, alerting him that something new in the castle stirred. Something was different.

Leaping from the room, he moved quickly, but silently through the halls.

It was moments later he found himself above the great hall, just in time to see his front door open to reveal a mysterious figure.

He watched as the figure walked through the doors.

It appeared to be a young man appeared in the entrance. Beast's eyes narrowed. He didn't like strangers, especially not male ones.

Though he couldn't credit liking female ones either.

Taking in the boy's appearance, Beast concluded the tattered appearance probably meant the boy was a criminal of some kind. The thought did nothing to assuage his rising anger.

"How strange." The boy mumbled after jumping slightly when the doors closed.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

The voice was strange to Beast's ears. Somewhat soft, but raspy at the same time. Curious he watched, wondering what the boy would do next. If he was being honest with himself, he also wanted to get a better look at young man's face. What sort of person was this fellow? And what was he doing in woods at this hour?

A flicker of light down the hall appeared to grab the man's attention. He walked forward to the dining room rather quickly. Beast followed silently taking care to keep out of sight.

The young man stopped and stared wide eyed at the feast before him.

Beast contemplated for a moment that the meal set out was rather large. But upon looking at the intruder's face he forgot temporarily his purpose.

The boy was quite handsome. Short, though jagged brown hair stuck up wildly from the wind. His face was angular, but there was a strange sort of softness in the cheeks that Beast couldn't quite grasp. The eyes were large, piercing green, and thickly lashed.

His stomach clenched in an odd way. Beast frowned at his reaction, not certain what it meant.

Then the boy's stomach growled loudly.

Beast looked upon the striking boy expecting him to reach forward and grab whatever he could take. But the boy stayed in place looking around confused.

"Hello?" He called again; voice more strained than before. "I'm sorry to intrude. I just needed shelter from the cold."

Beast wondered at the circumstance of the young man. How did such a handsome young man find himself looking so homely? Perhaps he had gotten lost in the forest? Separated from his people, maybe he had trekked through the woods, his clothing getting torn on the journey.

This story made more since to the Beast, though truthfully, he had expected the boy take whatever he could find. If poor he would need the provisions and feel compelled to take them. If wealthy however, he would have a sense of entitlement and still make himself at home in a stranger's house.

But the boy simply stood there looking at a loss. After a long moment, he moved towards the fire in the adjoining room.

"What a strange place. Maybe the master of the house won't mind if I just warm by the fire? There's no harm in that, right?"

The boy was speaking to himself.

Beast listened on in bewilderment.

"It feels strange here. Like someone's watching me. Maybe I am going crazy?" He wrapped his arms tightly around himself. "I miss you mama. I wish you were here."

The words struck through Beast in a way that nothing else ever had. The yearning for a parent was one he too had known. And the sad look in the boy's eyes was all too telling.

He huddled by the fire a long time, eyes glazing over. Beast watched feeling more and more ill at ease. He was better than this. Did it really matter if the child was a thief or wealthy? He needed food, water, and shelter. Beast could provide that.

Making up his mind, he somewhat reluctantly left the boy to seek out his trusted servants.

"Take him food. And water. Give him a room for the night." He ordered the small clock that cowered beneath him.

"You want to feed and house the intruder?" He asked nervously.

"Did I not just say so?" Beast thundered.

"Yes, of course. Right away."

"Report to me later." Beast stalked off to his room to watch from above.

A few hours later a small knock sounded on his door.

"Yes?" his irritated sigh did not deter the incoming candelabra.

"Ah Master! Cogsworth is attending to the boy. I thought I would update you, yes?"

For some reason the upbeat nature of the wax and metal figure didn't bother the Beast. He'd always had a sort of soft spot for Lumiere.

"How is he?"

Lumiere grinned.

"Good. Very confused at first, but he took it rather well when the dishes started moving. And Mrs. Potts can be very pushy, but he took that well too."

Beast didn't want to be pleased, but he was.

"Where is he now?"

"Sleeping in the North wing. Took some convincing to get him there though. He's a bit of tough one I think."

Beast said nothing but contemplated.

"Very well. See he has food in the morning, and more for his journey."

"Ah but the boy is so tired. Maybe he can stay longer?"

Beast glared at Lumiere, but the flames only grew brighter.

"He leaves tomorrow." His tone was final. The candle flames dimmed a little as the candleholder bowed and exited the room.

Beast had to remind himself that was for the best. A boy didn't belong there. It wasn't as if he could break the spell. No, it was better if he left in the morning.

…..

Morning seemed to come all too soon. Beast hadn't slept a wink, thinking of the boy. A sense of relief and regret tore through him as he heard the man leave.

It was for the best.

The thought had barely crossed his mind when he felt the snap.

One of his roses had been damaged.

Leaping up furiously, Beast bounded out the door to see the young boy holding a perfect rose in his hands.

"How dare you take from me."

At the Beast's voice the boy turned and paled looking on at him. Beast didn't want to be upset by the fear he saw there. But he was, and it angered him more.

"I feed you, give you shelter. And this is how you repay my kindness?" He nearly growled pointing to the rosebud.

The boy's mouth fell open, sputtering.

"But… I didn't… I mean I wasn't…" he stammered.

Beast knew his temper was reaching its peak, knew on some level that his reaction was uncalled for, but he also knew he couldn't stop it.

"You take from me; I take from you." He gritted out, grabbing the boy by his cloak, dragging him away to the tower. A small cell resided there; he shoved the boy in slamming the gate closed.

"Please, I didn't mean any harm." The boy begged.

Beast gnashed his teeth.

"No harm? You take my rose after everything I have given. You selfish, ungrateful boy," the beast trailed off unable to finish. "Well, you will take no more. You can live here and think of your _harmless _actions."

With that he walked away hurriedly, angrily.

It wasn't long before Lumiere found him.

"Sire please. Perhaps it was a mistake. He couldn't know what the roses meant to you."

Beast growled viciously, but Lumiere wasn't deterred.

"Come, come. He is so young. He made an error. Should he be judged so harshly for that?"

"You think I know nothing of error? Was I not cursed because of a stupid mistake? Why should he be any different?"

Lumiere could see his reasoning was lost on the Beast. He was simply too angry to see anything else.

"Yes sire." Lumiere backed away leaving Beast to contemplate his words and actions.

…

The next three days were tense. Beast had not gone into the tower, though he had ordered food be taken to his prisoner. Beast or not, it wasn't his intention to stave the boy to death.

Still Lumiere's words had haunted him these past days. Should one mistake rule the rest of person's life? Was he so beastly that he was now stooping to Enchantress's level? Punishing young people for one bad decision?

Perhaps it was time to let the boy go.

Wearily he made his way up the tower stairs, dreading the coming encounter. He didn't want to see fear in the boy's eyes. He could have just told Lumiere to take care of the release, but somehow, he needed to face him.

When Beast came upon the cell, he was surprised to find the boy did not look so well. Uneaten food laid at the door, and dried blood caked his sleeve.

"What the devil?"

The boy jerked at his words, eyes widening.

"You're bleeding?" The confusion in Beast's voice was evident. The boy looked befuddled then glanced at his shirt.

"Not anymore." His voice was barely a whisper.

Beast felt terrible. Had he in his anger _hurt_ the young man? Was he responsible for the gashes in the sleeve?

When he thought back, he couldn't credit it. He hadn't swiped at the boy.

Without thinking further, he opened the cell door. The boy went still and watched him warily. Beast ignored the look, but advanced intending to get a closer look at the wound. He tore away the remnants of the sleeve.

The sight made him wince. Deep cuts littered his arm, thorns were deeply wedged in the gashes.

"The rose bush." Beast whispered. Was this what the boy had tried to tell him? Not that his picking the flower had been a mistake, but rather an accident?

Though obviously weary the boy gave Beast a deep look. And when he spoke, his voice was strained and tired.

"Yes. I stopped to admire them, but I got tangled somehow. One of the roses broke off."

Beast's stomach clenched as he eyed the rose sitting in the boy's palm.

He felt terrible for his actions. It was time to make this right.

Without hesitation, he scooped up the boy, whose eyes somehow grew even larger.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Beast said gruffly as he made his way out of the tower to find a place to take care of the boy. "I'll see your wounds taken care of."

It wasn't long before he'd made it to the sitting room, luckily a fire was still blazing. He laid the boy down gently on a couch, before briskly turning away to get help.


	3. Ch3: Regret

**AN: A little bit of a slow build here, but hopefully this sets us up for some meatier chapters. Reviews/ comments are appreciated. It's a bit of a niche story, so if anyone likes it let me know.**

**Ch 3: Regret**

Belle was utterly confused.

What just happened?

Her head was spinning from being carried briskly out of the tower. She'd tried to eat these past few days, but the pain in her arm made her nauseous. She'd nibbled on the bread, and sipped the water, but it wasn't much. Now she really didn't even feel hungry anymore.

She was aware she was probably delirious from not eating, but she was sure the gentle way in which she'd just been handled wasn't part of her imagination. Was it?

She eyed her captor as he stalked back into the room.

His appearance was just as intriguing as she remembered.

It was hard to grasp exactly what it was he looked like. Some sort of bull, bear, man.

He was magnificently tall with broad shoulders that seemed impossibly wide. Silky fur covered every inch she was able to see. Curved horns stuck up from his head. He had large paws for hands and feet. And a long swishy tail.

But his face was so human like. Sure, he had a long snout, and sharp incisors sticking out from his lips. But there was an essence of human there. Perhaps it was in the expressiveness of his brows, that were now drawn in concentration. Or the startling depth that accompanied his brilliant blue eyes.

Belle was sure she should be afraid, but somehow the only emotion she could muster was curiosity.

What exactly was he? A creature? A man? Something in between? And how had he come to be that way? Was it a defect of his birth?

The last question made her heart clench.

She knew all too well what it was like to be born different.

He kneeled gracefully by her side. It was interesting to watch as his burly hands caressed her small arm. She noticed suddenly he brought bandages and warm water to patch her up with.

The cuts in her arm ached terribly, she gritted her teeth as the thorns were pulled. More blood gushed upon their removal. The release of pressure was horrid and wonderful all at once. At least now she could heal.

"Thank you." She said lowly as the master of the house finished wrapping her arm in a bandage.

He looked up startled. Then he frowned.

"You shouldn't thank me. I might as well have done this to you."

Belle was surprised at the self-reproach in his tone. She had realized quickly he meant her no harm, but his regret assuaged her a bit more.

"I should never have imprisoned you. If I had paid attention, I would have seen your cuts sooner. You would not have been in pain for days." He looked truly remorseful and pained at the admonition.

Belle wanted to ask why she had been imprisoned. Was it really so simple as he thought she'd taken a rose? And if so, why would such a simple act, cause so much anger?

Recalling both his temper and the way he'd gently carried her, she wondered how a person could vary between such extremes.

"It is better now at least." And she did feel somewhat better, if exhausted.

He gave her a gruff nod.

"You will heal now. Consider it a part of my apology, I should like you to stay as long as you need to heal."

The offer completely took Belle by surprise.

"Oh." Though she felt awful and knew there was no way she'd survive, it felt wrong to simply accept. "Are you sure?"

He looked on at her so deeply, Belle nearly shivered. The intense gaze struck deeply within her, and she couldn't quite place the feeling. Maybe it was all in her head. A lack of sleep and nourishment.

"I want you to stay. Heal for a few days. Let my staff care for you."

After only a moment of deliberation she nodded her head. If she tried to leave, it was likely she wouldn't make it to morning. A few days of rest would give her the strength to face the coming days, and just maybe she'd find a way to make it.

"You may go as you please. I ask only you keep out of the West wing. They are my quarters and I do not like anyone there."

She could handle that. She nodded again, feeling a wave of sleepiness wash over her.

"You are overtired. I will take you to your room."

Without another word he lifted Belle into his arms and carried her. She liked the way his arms felt. So soft and warm. Her eyes drifted closed of their own accord.

…

~Beast POV~

He marveled at the creature in his arms. It amazed him how trusting the boy was. He'd only just imprisoned the young man, and now he was asleep in his arms!

Beast frowned over the form, wondering what the next few days would bring.

"Ah Monsieur. He is not looking so well I see." Lumiere called with a concerned voice.

Beast grunted.

"He will be staying with us for a few days. Until he is better. I am giving him a room in the East wing."

Lumiere said nothing but followed along dutifully. Only the metal tapping of his 'legs' on the floor was to be heard.

When they arrived at a room with a blue door, Beast walked through it hastily.

He laid the boy on the bed, noting there were droplets of sweat beading up on his forehead. The young man was feverish it seemed.

"Oh, he is quite sick. Shall I send for Mrs. Potts?" Beast nodded and Lumiere hopped away quickly.

Beast gently brushed the side of the boy's cheek, finding a strange sense of pleasure in the touch.

He retracted his hand quickly, uncertain of his thoughts or feelings. He simply felt bad about the circumstances. He would made it right and send the boy on his way. Nothing more to think about.

With such resolve he went about making preparations to help the boy feel better.

"Oh, dearie me. Poor lad. To think he's been without treatment for days." Mrs. Potts tutted as she came through the door to look at her new patient.

"He will be alright, won't he?" Lumiere asked.

Mrs. Potts gave him a hard look.

"I should think so. I've never lost a patient before. Now out with you both. I have healing to do!"

Beast didn't want to leave but felt there was little he could do to help anyways.

"Is there anything we can do?"

"Hmmph. You should have seen to him days ago. You can help me by getting that temper of yours under control. You could have killed him. Now out!" She nearly slammed the door in his face.

Very few servants could get away with the way Mrs. Potts spoke, and under normal circumstances Beast would have roared with indignance. But today, he felt the reproach was totally deserved.

"Ah, come now. You know she gets worked up. The boy will be fine. Let's go get some dinner and you can check on him later when Mrs. Potts had cooled her kettle a little."

A gruff nod was all Lumiere received, but he wasn't deterred.

As they walked further and further away from the blue door, Beast couldn't help but think about Mrs. Potts words. He'd been angry many times, but he'd never hurt anyone before. The though that he was the cause of such suffering weighed on him heavily. Maybe they were wrong to have any hope.

He would always be a beast.


	4. Ch4: Warm Hands

**Ch 4: Warm Hands**

The young patient was feverish through the night. Mrs. Potts worried over the form, tutting and scolding Beast under her breath. Though she knew he'd intended no harm, he had certainly caused it. Now someone was suffering for it.

"Oh, poor dear. Hot as my boiling kettle," she murmured.

She dabbed at the sweating brown, frowning over the sweet face.

"So young. Where are your parents I wonder?"

She noted the dark circles underneath the long-lashed eyes.

"No sleep for days likely."

"Mm…mama." Hoarse whispered words escaped the cracked lips. It nearly broke Mrs. Potts heart to hear them.

"Shh, shh. Dear one. You are safe now. Perfectly safe."

A quiet sob sounded the air.

"I'm…sorry."

The broken words rattled Mrs. Potts. It made her long to embrace her son. To remind him she would always be there.

She laid warm towels over the feverish brow, soothing away the pain she saw there.

"Rest now dearie. Rest."

The features smoothed at her words, and she hoped morning would bring more comfort to the poor dear.

…

~Belle POV~

Belle felt the world was spinning. No matter how hard to she tried to stop, everything kept going around and around.

It was dizzying.

Faces surrounded her. Cruel and laughing.

She felt herself caving inward, scared.

Rough hands reached out to grab her.

With a jolt, she sat up in bed.

Heart pounding from the frightful dream, it took Belle a long time to understand where she was. Confused, she rubbed her weary eyes and looked around the room.

She found herself sitting in a tall four-post bed in a rather splendid chamber. It was adorned with shades of brown and blue. It held a certain understated lavishness. Each piece of furniture was ornately crafted, but strong and bold. There was a sort of quiet strength that filled the air. It instantly soothed her, though she couldn't think why.

Finding her gaze looking down; her stomach sank. She was wearing a dressing gown, and she knew someone else had put it on her.

At that moment the door creaked open.

Terrified, Belle sat frozen in place.

Shortly a moving cart carrying a large tea pot came sliding through the doors.

"Oh you're awake!" The cheery voice called.

Belle remembered now she had met the tea pot before.

"Hello." She responded, tired and worried, but also not wanting to be rude.

"Master will be quite pleased to know you're up. I was a bit worried, what with the way you were burning up last night. Thought that fever might never break. But so it did and here you are all lively."

Belle would have hardly called herself lively, but the cheerful voice and kind words eased some of the tension she was feeling.

"Thank you. For taking care of me."

Belle could have sworn the pot sent her a motherly look.

"I was happy to do it love. We all wanted to see you better." Mrs. Potts patted the covers next to her. "How are you feeling this morning. Sick? Nauseous? Headache?"

Belle lightly shook her head.

"I feel a great deal better. A little tired, but much better than yesterday."

Mrs. Potts nodded.

"I am sure you are quite tired still. You did not sleep very soundly. Tossing and turning all night. Was afraid you'd hurt your arm. By the by, how it is feeling? Master had to put a new dressing on it in the middle of the night."

Belle felt her stomach clench at the thought.

"Oh. He was in here?"

"Yes, yes. He could hardly stay away. I gave him a piece of my mind for what he did. Throwing you in that cell. I was piping I was so mad. But he did feel very bad, yes. Came to check on you nearly every hour. Was a bit irritating actually."

Belle wasn't sure what to think of that. She had seen his softer side the previous night, but so much had happened. Part of her felt she should be frightened or at least cautious, but it was the most comfortable she had felt in ages.

Still she didn't know what to think. If someone had changed her then they likely knew her secret. Would she be asked to leave? Would they run her out of the castle like her village did? The thought sent chills of fear down her spine.

Wrapped up in her own mind, she hadn't realized Mrs. Potts was speaking to her. She was brought out of her thoughts when it nudged her gently.

"Huh?" she asked looked confused at the sweet white and purple kettle.

"Tired still I see. I was asking what your name is dearie. It seems it somehow slipped all our minds to ask! How unthoughtful I think. But here we are."

Belle realized in that moment her fears were unfounded. If they wanted her gone, they would have run her off by now. Certainly, they wouldn't be asking her silly questions like what her name was if they intended to throw her out.

Right?

And what an opportunity it was. She could choose to be whatever she wanted. She vaguely remembered being referred to as a boy by Lumiere, the candelabra. Maybe this was her opportunity to try a different life, since the one before hadn't worked out so great.

The pot was looking at her expectantly.

"Ben," she told the pot. "My name is Ben."

Belle felt she wasn't _actually_ lying. She _had_ been called Ben by the villagers for so long it was as if it truly were her name. Still, a twinge of guilt was there. Feeling as though she was deceiving the only creature that had been nice to her in quite some time.

"Oh what a lovely name. Short for Benjamin?" She asked kindly. Belle didn't want to lie as much as she could help, so she shook her head.

"Benoit, actually."

The kettle's eyes brightened.

"Oh, how lovely. Well Ben, we are very pleased to have you here. It's been ages since we've had any visitors. And I know you aren't exactly a visitor, but still its wonderful you're here. Well maybe not under the present circumstances, but you know what I mean."

Belle was feeling dizzy trying to keep up with the pot. She really could go on and on.

"Are you feeling up to eating? Perhaps a spot of tea?"

Belle nodded slightly.

"I'm not very hungry, but a little bit of bread and tea would be wonderful. Thank you."

It was as if that was exactly what Mrs. Potts wanted to hear. She nearly whistled with delight.

"Of course! I'll bring up some bread, and cheeses maybe. You don't have to eat it all, but I'd rather you had more to choose from than less. Is there anything else you'd like dear?"

Belle shook her head, thinking she had already been given so much.

"No thank you."

The kettle looked pleased as punch.

"Oh what lovely manners. But I said that when we first met too. You'll do well here I think."

The somewhat cryptic words rang in Belle's mind as the teapot scurried out the door.

She wondered what it meant exactly. The master of the house had offered for her to stay only a few days while she healed. Yet the pot seemed to speak as if she'd be around for longer.

A knock sounded at the door disrupting her thoughts. _Curious_, she thought. Mrs. Potts hadn't been gone long enough for it to be her, not to mention she didn't bother knocking when she came in.

The knock sounded again before Belle had really gathered her thoughts.

"Coming." She called struggling out of the sheets. She gave her nightclothes a once over. They were soft and warm, but a little less than proper for company.

Though she'd have preferred a robe to throw over it, she opened the door tentatively surprised to find the master of the house standing there.

"Oh. Hello."

She opened the door a bit wider, now realizing who was there.

"I, uh, brought you some medicine. For your arm." His voice was gruff but not off putting. And for some reason his sort of bumbling was endearing.

"Thank you." Belle stepped to side the offering him room to come in.

He stepped forward carefully and looked her over for a long moment before glancing at the rumpled bed.

"You were sleeping."

Belle blushed a little.

"No. I mean I was, but I was awake before you knocked. Mrs. Potts just left actually." Feeling a little embarrassed she folded her arms around her frame. Thinking she should say more she continued, "The medicine was a very thoughtful idea."

She gave him what she hoped was a re-assuring smile.

He carefully handed her a small vial of red liquid. She couldn't help but eye the size of his paws. They were so large the bottle looked like a child's toy in his hand. They were warm too. His warm hands felt pleasant against her cold fingers.

"It tastes horrible, but it will help."

Nodding, Belle took a swig and shivered.

"You're right. That_ is_ horrible."

He was surprised enough at her joke to give a half-snort laugh.

Belle caught the look and gave him a smile in return.

He appraised her thoroughly. She felt her body warm under his gaze.

"You look very tired. You say Mrs. Potts was just here?"

Belle nodded, uncertain of the feelings building inside her chest.

"Yes. She went to get some food. Is that alright?"

"Yes of course. Perhaps you would like to sit. You look a little unsteady."

To be perfectly honest, she was feeling unsteady too. Nodding, she turned and felt herself faced with a dilemma. Where to sit?

"You should get back in bed. Mrs. Potts will have my head if she sees you walking about."

Belle wondered how he knew what she was thinking but decided not to worry on it too much. So, she walked back to the bed, surprised to find how tired she actually was. The soft mattress nearly begged her to dive in.

When she was comfortably settled back into the covers, he took the seat in the chair next to the bed.

"You are feeling a bit better I gather?"

"I am, thank you."

Taking note of her arm, he gestured to it.

"May I? It looks as if it needs re-dressing."

Belle noticed there were a few red spots showing through. The wounds from the thorns must have been worse than she thought.

Without a word she leaned toward him, holding her arm out for him to inspect.

Try as she might, she couldn't ignore how wonderful his hands felt as they brushed against her skin. The gentle way he held her, and the warmth that radiated from him.

Belle felt more aware of herself than she had in quite some time.

When he finally pulled away the last of the bandage, Belle winced. Her arm looked gross.

"Darn. I really got it good." She mumbled to herself.

Dark brown eyes looked up to meet hers. In them danced a mysterious sort of humor.

"How _did_ you manage to get so tangled up?"

Belle felt the blush heating her face.

"I'm not sure. They just smelled so good. There's something about burying your face in a flower that's sort of wonderful. And I couldn't help myself. Next thing I know, I had myself wrapped in a vine of thorns."

Of course he knew what had happened after that.

Belle could see the humor die as he looked at her.

"I am terribly sorry for this." The genuine sorrow in his eyes was almost unfathomable.

"Its fine now. Thank you for helping me get better."

He stared at her for a long moment before nodding. A sort of silent agreement that nothing could be done now except to move forward.

Belle had a flaw though.

A terrible flaw.

_Curiosity._

And she couldn't seem to stifle the need to ask why he had reacted so violently. So as he wrapped her arm in fresh bandages, Belle asked what she knew she should leave well enough alone.

"I was wondering," he paused a moment to look up at her curiously. "Why were you upset at the thought of my taking a flower?"

Surprise lit his eyes, followed by sadness.

He finished tying her bandage, gently setting her arm back to the bed before he spoke.

"You haven't asked my name." The comment threw Belle off completely, but she waited to hear more. "Its Beast. And that is what I am. The roses are precious to me. In a way, they are part of who I am. To take one… is to take piece of me. There is no excuse for how I reacted, but the beast doesn't care what is right. It does what a beast would do. Do you understand?"

Though his words were gentle, Belle heard the warning. There was a part of him that was uncontrollable. A part that didn't use logic or reason. It should have frightened her. Instead all she could feel was a sense of kinship. To feel there was something inside that wasn't right.

She reached out and touched his paw. She noted she must have surprised him by the way his claws flexed slightly.

"Thank you for explaining. And for the bandage."

He seemed at a loss, but eventually nodded. Feeling as though she should give him a little space, she removed her hand from his.

But she could still feel his warmth in her palm.

When the door opened, and Mrs. Potts rolled in on her cart, Beast stood. Belle knew he was leaving.

"Oh, Master. I've just gotten some food for our guest and tea too of course." He nodded and came around to stand beside her. "Ben here is looking a good deal better, I think. Did you re-bandage his arm?"

Belle didn't miss the fact Mrs. Potts was letting Beast know what her name was. It was kind of sweet the way she was looking after her.

"I did. I will leave you now to eat and rest." He nodded to Mrs. Potts and walked out the door.

Belle wasn't sure what that had all been about, nor was she sure about the tingling in her stomach. But she was certain, whatever was to come, it would be interesting.

**AN: Thanks to everyone that is reading this story. I wasn't sure what sort of interest it would generate, but I'm glad some of you are liking it so far.**


	5. Ch5: Stay

**AN: For the sake of clarity, when I do Belle's POV she will refer to herself in the feminine form, because that is what she grew up with and mostly how she thinks of herself. But everyone in the castle calls her Ben, and by masculine pronouns.**

**Ch 5: Stay**

**~Belle's POV~**

As Belle continued to get better, she found herself wishing she wasn't healing so quickly. She was no longer feverish and the cut on her arm was now closed and scabbing over nicely. Though she was nearly better, the thought brought her little joy. Because that would mean she'd have to leave the strange castle and journey forth on her own again.

The prospect was not just terrifying because she had no idea what the future held, but because she had grown to love being in the castle over the past week. Mrs. Potts and Lumiere had visited her often, telling her about all that happened in the castle.

Lumiere was a true lover to his core. Belle failed at keeping a straight face whenever he would go on about another one of his lady loves. He was particularly enamored with a feather duster named Babette, who according to Lumiere, was just resisting his charms for now.

And Mrs. Potts was a dear. She would tell Belle about workers she was friends with and her son, Chip. An adorable teacup with a propensity of asking silly questions. Just yesterday he had completely flustered his mother when asked how baby teacups were made. Her kettle had glowed red, and a more than a little steam came from her spout as she used the age old saying '_I'll tell you when you're older'_. Though truthfully, Belle was more than a little curious herself.

Then there was Cogsworth, a rather stuffy old clock at first impression. But his passion really shined when you got him talking about architecture. He had a love or art and history; and enjoyed more than one little joke about something being 'baroque', which apparently didn't mean it was broken.

Though she had not ventured far from her room, Belle had also started to make friends with various other members of the castle. All of them were lovely, kind, and warm. They had made Belle feel so accepted and comfortable even just the few days she had been there. And they in return seemed to love spending time with her.

It had all started innocently enough, when she had complained about not being able to leave the bed, dubbing herself 'sleeping beauty' or _beau_ rather. Mrs. Potts and Lumiere had no idea what she was referring to and encouraged her to tell the tale of the sleeping princess. Since then various object would gather around and beg for another story. Belle gathered it was a good thing she loved to read and happened to know more than a few tales. She loved telling them though, loved seeing their eager faces as she started a new adventure.

But more than anything, Belle had to admit, she loved it when Beast would slip in unnoticed by the others. Belle tried to watch for him, but somehow it always seemed when she'd start the story he was nowhere to be found. Then she would get carried away, and suddenly look up. He'd be there, across the room watching in quiet fascination.

It made her heart beat rapidly every time.

She didn't know why, but something about him just appealed to her. Maybe it was his beautiful coat she itched to stroke, or how warm and big his paws felt. Or perhaps it was the intensity of his piercing blue eyes, that seemed to follow her every movement. Belle thought she could get lost staring into them. More than once, she'd had to remind herself to look away or he'd think she was being rude.

And that was when others were around.

When he'd visit on his own, even just for a few minutes several times a day, Belle had to remember to breathe. The heat that radiated from him, made her flush with warmth. And a very strong part of her had to hold back from touching him whenever he came within reach. She had looked forward to the times he would change her bandage, reveling in his touch.

But now, her arm no longer needed the wrap. She felt a sense of loss, knowing he wouldn't need to touch her again. But even more, her heart panged knowing she wouldn't be able to stay any longer either.

Belle tried to hold back her sigh, as she glanced out the window watching the sun dance across the lawn and castle. Her thoughts turned sad, knowing in the morning she would have to bid it all goodbye.

It was only the sound of a knock at the door that kept her from indulging in a good cry.

"Come in." She called, trying to put on a cheery voice, but it wasn't too convincing.

"Ben? Are you okay?"

The concern in Beast's voice warmed her from head to toe as he made his way over to where she was standing by the window.

Belle put on a brave face, knowing it was time.

"Yes, I'm wonderful actually."

Beast's eyes were unreadable as he looked her over. Something in his stance seemed tense though.

"You feel better?" His words were carefully chosen, and Belle had to wonder if he was simply being polite by making sure, instead of just kicking her out.

She gave him her best attempt at an encouraging smile, but the warmth there was real.

"Yes. Very much so. I owe a great deal to you and your staff for letting me stay as long here as you have." She tried to not let any sadness show through.

"You want to leave?" There was a note of surprise, and something that sounded a lot like distress to Belle. But that couldn't be right. It was his castle; surely he was ready for his unexpected visitor to get on their way.

"I'm not sure if _want_ is the right word. But I am all healed. It would be wrong of me to take advantage of your kindness any longer. I was thinking in the morning I could get an early start, if you don't mind me staying another night." Though it was still bright out, nightfall was coming soon, and Belle didn't want to risk spending the night in the dark. Though that was probably inevitable.

He was quiet as he examined her for a long moment. It made Belle feel nervous and twitchy. She resisted to urge to play with the hem of her shirt.

"I'd like to think on this more. Would you have dinner with me tonight and we can discuss it then? If you still feel like leaving in the morning, you will be free to do so."

Belle was so surprised she could only nod. What more was there to think about? She had healed, that was the terms of their arrangement. And even before she had become his prisoner, he had only offered her one night of rest. Perhaps he was still feeling guilty about the incident? Or maybe he wanted to be certain she was better?

"Would you like to eat in main hall? Or I can have dinner brought here again."

Belle genuinely smiled at the thought of getting out of the room. She had only been allowed just outside her room this past week, and a change of scenery would be nice.

"The main hall would be great. Thank you."

She saw as his eyes softened momentarily. His nod was brief before he strode back to the other side of the room.

"Till later."

His warm deep words slithered through her as he walked out the door. Belle suppressed a groan, wondering how this evening was going to go.

…

**~Beast's POV~**

Beast paced his room, eyes shifting back and forth rapidly as his mind whirled back and forth between thought and emotion.

Ben was going to leave.

Ben _should_ leave.

But he didn't want Ben to leave. And it didn't seem as if the boy had anywhere to go.

Perhaps he was mistaken, maybe the boy did have a family waiting on him somewhere.

But if that was true, why weren't they mentioned during this past week?

Beast's head was filled with arguments and counter arguments. He couldn't say why he wanted Ben to stay, only that he did; however wrong that might be.

What kind of life could he really offer?

But then again, what kind of life had led the boy here in the first place?

Groaning, Beast took his head in his paws. He needed to figure this out, and soon. Dinner would come shortly, and he needed to make a decision before that happened.

"Master?" The cautious, but open voice, had Beast turning to look on at the candelabra with a face of utter confusion. "You are conflicted about Ben." He told Beast knowingly.

"He said he feels better. I should let him leave in the morning."

Lumiere gave Beast a disagreeing look.

"Why _should_ you? I would think if he had anywhere to go, he would have wanted to be there before now anyways."

Beast sighed again.

Even if that was true, what could he say to make Ben stay?

"Why wouldn't he want to leave? What can we offer him here? A prison?"

Lumiere was quiet, and Beast wondered for a moment if he knew something.

"I think we have more to offer then we even know. He showed up here for a reason. Maybe it feels like a prison to us, but to him, a sanctuary."

Beast wanted to believe it.

"Everyone loves him." Lumiere said after a moment. Beast looked up at the shining eyes of his friend. "Even sick, he has brought so much happiness in this past week. And the castle feels more alive than ever. I feel more alive. Don't you?"

Beast couldn't deny what his friend was saying. Over the years, hopelessness had taken root. And slowly the spirit had dwindled to nearly nothing. They had all felt the change when Ben found them. A certain energy was in the air, and every day Beast had found something new that once was dark and grey. A corridor near Ben's room, that was dim and dank, was now clean and bright. Anyone who had visited the boy, seemed more vibrant with color than before. More lively and human than they had been in so long.

But it wasn't just the changes. It was Ben, himself. He was so kind, and yet full of energy. The stories he told took them places they had never dared. Each night they all longed to listen to the soft voice that painted vivid pictures of the places they had never seen. Of the people they never knew. And Ben _cared._ He cared about every person that he spoke with. Looked at them as if they were the most important person in the world.

Beast's heart ached every time Ben's eyes found him. The way they pierced right through, as if he could see something more than the literal beast before him.

Hope had sprung anew.

Maybe they would all be damned to this life. But with Ben, maybe it could be better.

"I think you should ask him to stay." Lumiere said bringing Beast out of his thoughts. "If he says no, then we can deal with it. But you should ask."

Beast nodded, knowing he had to at least try.

…**  
**

Beast remined himself for at least the tenth time not to stare. But even as he was reprimanding himself, he looked up again.

Ben was sitting across the table, just within arm's reach, and looking better than ever.

He was dressed handsomely in ivory pants and a brown vest over a light shirt. His hair was, as always, a crop of wild brown locks that were just a little longer than fashionable. Beast had, on more than one occasion, wanted to touch the strands to see if they were as soft as they looked.

He cleared his throat, causing two rich brown eyes to look up at him curiously.

"Ben," Beast started, trying to find the words he needed to say. "How has your week been here? Enjoyable?"

Ben's eyes brightened a fraction, making Beast's stomach clench.

"Very much so. Everyone has been so wonderful. And of course, you have a lovely home." Then his eyes turned sad. "I can't say that I won't miss it."

It gave Beast hope.

"Do you have family waiting for your return?"

Beast decidedly did not like the sad, lost look that came into Ben's eyes. The boy shook his head, hair shaking slightly.

"No. My parents passed away when I was younger."

The words moved Beast deeply; caused him pain in the far reaches of his soul. He reached paw out to gently pat Ben's hand. They boy looked up surprised, but he didn't move away.

"I am sorry. That is a loss I too have felt. It is not easy."

Bright eyes watched him.

"No. It isn't. Were you young when they passed?" The concern in his voice was evident, as they shared a moment of heartache.

"I was. Even though it has been a long time, the pain never really goes away. But it does get better." He offered the encouragement. "Where were you before you came here Ben?"

Uncertainty clouded his eyes, more pain lurked beneath the surface.

"Nowhere," he said quietly. His eyes had fallen to the table. It hurt Beast to see Ben so sad. He had been nothing but a ray of sunshine these past days, it pained him to see that light dim.

"Do you have anywhere to go?"

He sighed deeply. And when he looked up, Beast could see the false brightness.

"I'll be fine. I've gotten by before. And being here has given me more than I can even express. I can't thank you enough for all your kindness." His voice had grown tight, as if he was holding back a flood of emotion.

"What if you didn't leave?" Beast started, watching Ben's head come up. "What if you were to stay?"

His eyes held something Beast had come to readily recognize in his own face recently; hope.

"Stay?" he echoed, clearly uncertain.

Beast nodded, knowing it was time to lay out his plan. A plan he was now thinking had a chance.

"If you don't have anywhere to go, I was wondering if you would like to stay here with us. You have made quite an impression on my staff. They have been moping about all day when I told them you were thinking of leaving us."

Emotions were flitting across his face, as if he was trying to think about so many things at once.

"You don't have to make a decision now. You can sleep on it, or for a few days if you like." Beast offered, not wanting to cause the boy distress.

Ben looked conflicted but he nodded.

"I'm sorry. You surprised me is all."

Beast thought that was reasonable, and not a bad reaction.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. If anyone should be sorry, it is me." He gave Ben's arm a pointed look.

"You're not just offering me a place to live because you feel bad about what happened right?"

It was a fair question. But it wasn't remotely true.

"No. I am sorry about what happened and I do still feel terrible about it. But, if anything, it made me hesitate to ask you to stay."

Ben's eyes widened as he considered Beast's words.

"Because you think you might hurt me?"

Beast didn't even want to consider the possibility. He was glad to see, at least by the look on Ben's face, that the boy didn't think that was a concern.

"I will never hurt you, but it does require caution and adherence to certain rules on your part."

Understanding was starting to show on the boy's face.

"Staying out of the West Wing."

Beast nodded affirming.

"You would have complete run of the rest of the castle. You would be free to do as you please with your days. Anything you want really."

"That's such a generous offer."

Beast could see how overwhelming it seemed.

"To be honest I don't think it is all that generous on my part. Everyone here has come to care for you a great deal, even in this short time. The household seems much happier with you here. Not to mention, I think there will be a mutiny if story time ends," he joked, earning a small smile from Ben. Still there was a small amount of uncertainty there.

"What about you? Do you want me to stay?"

Beast's chest ached. There was something in Ben's question that begged for his approval. As if it was the most important thing. It made Beast want to reach across the table and pull him into his arms.

"Yes. I have come to enjoy your presence here. I would like you to stay."

Beast was immediately rewarded with a warmth that filled Ben's eyes.

"Then I'll stay." He said simply.

Beast almost couldn't believe it had all been so simple.

"Really?"

Ben cracked a smile.

"Really. But on one condition." His eyes twinkled with humor.

Beast wondered what he could possibly want.

"What's that?"

"Can we move story time to a bigger room? My bed had gotten very crowded of late."

And just like that they were both laughing.

"I think I can arrange something."

Ben smiled and Beast's heart felt fuller than it had in ages.

**AN: Thanks for your patience as I slowly get these chapters out! Lots going on.. sigh. But I've been enjoying writing and I hope you like this chapter.**

**Thank you for the reviews. It has been great motivation.**


	6. Ch6: Restless

**Ch 6: Restless**

**~Belle's POV~**

Belle spent the week following her decision to stay in a sort of happy trance. Each day she grew stronger, until moving about the castle no longer winded her at all. And now that she was fully better, she felt a bit restless with her current role in the castle.

When Beast asked her to stay, she agreed without really considering what might be expected from her day to day. Immediately it became clear she wouldn't be allowed to do anything remotely strenuous until she was completely better. Though the cut had already healed, her body took a bit longer to get its full strength back.

The days she'd spent wandering the forest had diminished her usual vigor, and the following nights in the tower had sapped whatever energy was left. Mrs. Potts had been adamant about not overextending herself too soon, so Belle agreed to take it easy and continue to rest.

But now it had nearly been two weeks since her arrival, and she was tired of resting. Many of the castle workers visited her often, but they had their own jobs to do, and apart from the nightly story time, Belle found herself aching to do more than simply walk the grounds or sleep.

Maybe Beast would allow her to take up a job. But what sort of job could she do?

Her fingers trailed over dew covered petals as she walked the garden lost in her thoughts. So wrapped up in her mind she was, she nearly squeaked when a figure appeared suddenly beside her.

"Oh!" Belle gasped lightly, before giving Beast an apologetic smile. "I must have been daydreaming. I didn't hear you come up."

He watched her with quiet intensity. It always managed to send a hot chill coursing through her body. She suppressed the urge to shiver, and instead gave him a warm smile.

"My apologies, I didn't mean to interrupt or frighten you." His voice was deep and smooth, though it held a tinge of disappointment.

She deepened her smile, hoping to assuage any unease on his part.

"On the contrary, you aren't interrupting at all. I was actually wanting to speak with you."

A hint of wary surprise lit his eyes.

"What's on your mind?" His tone was perfectly neutral, but his eyes showed concern.

Belle drew her gaze away as she worked up the courage to speak her thoughts. She hated to seem ungrateful and wanted to make sure she chose her words carefully.

"I've been here a few weeks now, and I want to start by saying how thankful I am that you have allowed me to stay here. It's more than anything I could have dreamed of." She gave him what she hoped was a gracious smile.

But the deep frown on Beast's face made her stomach drop.

"You've changed your mind. You want to leave." The words were a mixture of both harsh and resigned. In a rush of panic, Belle grabbed Beast's hand, holding it tightly between her palms.

"No! Not at all." She rushed on to say, watching his eyes widen at her actions and words. "I love it here. I want to stay." She assured him passionately.

His gaze tracked to their intertwined hands, making Belle blush furiously at her rash reaction. She slowly, though reluctantly let go, knowing it was perhaps a little inappropriate.

"Sorry." Her blush deepened. "I'm messing this up a little. I just didn't want to seem ungrateful."

His eyes softened from their bewildered state as he looked on at her. The gaze made her feel hot from more than just embarrassment.

"I doubt there is much you could say that would make me think you are ungrateful. Why don't you start over, and tell me what you need?"

Belle took a steadying breath.

"I was really just wondering what role I have here. I mean, I know I sort of started out as a guest, but since you've offered me a more permanent situation, it seems like that should change. I appreciate everything, but I feel like I should be doing more."

Understanding, and something like relief filled his eyes. In turn, the tightness in her chest relaxed at his change of expression. Surprisingly, an almost smirk seemed to grace his lips, a little more fang showing on the left.

"Are you saying you'd like a job?"

Belle blushed, wondering why such a simple thing had been so hard for her to say.

Memories of mockery and censure surfaced in the back of her mind, but she shoved them away, focusing instead on what was in front of her.

"Yes." She smiled shyly.

Beast nodded his head, stoking his bearded mane lightly.

"That wouldn't be a problem. What sort of work would you be interested in?"

Feeling both less nervous and embarrassed, Belle felt her excitement bubbling up.

"I've been thinking a lot about that. It seems like most of the castle is under control. I mean you already have everything running smoothly, its clean and organized so I doubt I'd be much help in that."

She gave an ironic smile and shrugged before looking out over the lawn.

"Then I noticed not much is done outside, apart from your roses anyways. I used to have a garden back home for a time. And I was thinking maybe that was something I could do here? I know your roses mean a lot to you, so I wouldn't mess with them, but I could do something with the rest of the grounds if you like. I'd love to add color, and trees, and maybe some pretty shrubs."

Belle had been looking over the barren lawn, imagining the additions and how they would look. The thought gave her immense pleasure. Now that she had finished her thought, she turned back to Beast to find his face was devoid of emotion. Her stomach churned and she wondered if she had managed to cross a line without knowing it.

"I mean, it's just a thought I could do something el-" Beast quickly, but gently pressed a paw to her lips.

The warmth of his pads radiated against her mouth, and she found herself resisting the urge to groan at how nice it felt. Her eyes widened as a different kind of heat worked its way through her thighs.

Their eyes locked, and Belle felt a little lost in the intensity of his stare. After a long moment, he removed his paw, and Belle admitted, she mourned the loss of his touch.

"I think that would be a wonderful idea." His voice was always deep, but this time it was thicker, huskier, and altogether more delicious on her ears than she thought was possible.

Feeling out of her own depth she took a step back to clear her head. She turned away to face the lawn and cleared her throat.

"I'd be happy to start right away. I won't be able to plant some things until the weather warms a little more, but there are lots of cold adapted plants that would spruce the place up a bit. And then in the spring I'd like to make the yard explode with flowers. And maybe even a vegetable garden!" As she spoke the awkwardness fell away and excited warmth took its place.

"I don't doubt you can work wonders. If you can make me a list of everything you need, I will get those supplies to you this week."

She smiled brightly as she turned to look at Beast.

"Thank you." Her words were heartfelt, though part of her wanted to say more. But there were some things she didn't have the courage to say out loud. And she regretted to think she probably never would.

…..

**~Beast POV~**

**(next week)**

Having Ben around since he'd agreed to stay had been both wondrous and agonizing. Beast couldn't concentrate like he used to, knowing that brown haired boy was just down the hall. It had taken all his self-control to not spend every moment of the day by Ben's side.

Even now he found himself lurking in the shadows, watching from afar. He admitted, he did this more often than was appropriate. But he couldn't help himself.

There was something irresistible in the boy. The bright, curious look in his eyes. The soft, gentle way he spoke. Or the unfailing kindness he showed everyone.

And more so, the total acceptance of everything as it was.

He didn't question the moving furniture, talking kettles, singing wardrobes, flirty candelabras, or stuffy clocks. And somehow, he didn't question Beast.

There were never looks of fear, disgust, or pity. All Beast ever saw there was fascination, excitement, compassion, and every other good-hearted thing he could think of.

Beast could hardly fathom how Ben could be so accepting. He might have expected at least a few probing questions about how a beast came to oversee such a grandiose castle with all its fantastical inhabitants. But Ben hadn't even hinted at such a thought.

And then there were the times that Beast saw something more.

More than just kindness. More than mere friendship. But an unmistakable heat and intensity that flipped Beast's world upside down. He'd tried to write it off, to dismiss it as nothing more than gratitude on Ben's part, and regret on his own. But that wasn't it.

There was _tension_, between them.

A tightness that pulled at Beast in ways he'd dared not even think of since his change. And if Ben's reactions were any indication, he felt the same way.

Like last week, when he had touched Ben's mouth, the way he'd leaned in, how his lips parted slightly as if he wanted to taste.

Beast groaned at the tightness he felt in his belly.

What was happening?

Did he have_ feelings_ for the boy?

Did Ben feel the same way?

Was this normal?

And if so, how did such a relationship even work?

"You are going to give yourself a headache," a remarkably smug voice cut in through Beast's thoughts.

He scowled at Lumiere, though he wondered how the candleholder always seemed to know when he was distressed.

"If you are going to spy, you should get a glass. Then you can see better." He announced, his eyes shifting to look out the balcony at the figure on the lawn below.

Beast's eyes shifted to look at Ben too.

He was standing at the edge of a path, using a shovel to dig a hole. Even from the distance, Beast's enhanced vision allowed him to see the strain of muscle beneath the cloth of Ben's shirt as he dug into the earth.

"He's starting on the garden." Beast commented, ignoring the comment about his spying.

Lumiere smiled, drawing closer.

"I heard. He was quite animated after your talk last week. And you should have seen his eyes light up when you had those tools and plants delivered so quickly." Beast couldn't help the wave of pleasure that rolled through him at the thought of making Ben happy.

"You are quite pleased with yourself." Lumiere laughed knowingly.

Feeling uncomfortable, Beast scoffed and forced himself to move away from the window, back to his desk where actual work awaited him. Enchanted castle or no, lands had to be managed along with taxes, and the other businesses he owned.

"I'm glad he's enjoying himself." Beast forced his tone to be neutral, even though he felt anything but that.

"Ach, come now Master. Why are you pretending you don't care?"

The ache of confusion returned to this stomach. He didn't know what was right or not. Was it wrong to care? He'd never heard of such a relationship.

And then there was his form to consider. Ben couldn't possibly be…_attracted_ to him. Could he?

A quiet sort of lull fell over the room, and Beast felt a coil within him winding ever tighter.

"I think, perhaps, we should talk." There was an authoritative solemnness to Lumiere's voice that Beast seldom heard. It commanded his attention and spoke to how important the words were. He looked up, confused and curious about what his confidant, and sometimes mentor, had to say.

"Let's go to the library."

He walked away, leaving Beast no choice but to follow.

When the entered the room, a hollow echo of disuse seemed to fill the place. Beast hadn't set foot in there in years. He'd once spent many afternoons on the ornate couches, reading to his heart's content. Then, after the change, frantic hours spent rummaging through anything he could find that might help his cause. It had been to no avail. And since then, he'd not been able to come back.

Now, looking at the book lined walls he felt a sense of comfort rather than the angry panic that had once filled him.

His eyes followed Lumiere as he hoped along the wall, searching it seemed for a particular volume. In a somewhat hidden corner of the room, he pulled out a large, and rather worn looking piece of literature. Making his way to a small couch, Lumiere motioned for Beast to join him.

"I know this life is not the one you wanted. Or the one any of us expected you to have." The words clawed at him; old shame surfaced.

A gentle touch made him lift his head.

"You might have made a mistake, but no one blames you for what happened. Don't you ever think otherwise." He paused, and Beast accepted that he would never feel relief from the guilt, but he didn't have to wallow in it.

"What are we doing here?" He asked with resigned exasperation. Lumiere clucked his tongue at the tone.

"We are here because when you were changed you were very young. There were many things that we failed to teach you because of these changes. But it is past time we have this conversation."

The determined tone of Lumiere's voice piqued Beast's interest. He seemed almost flustered, which was baffling, because nothing could embarrass the man.

"What conversation is that?" He asked with genuine interest.

Lumiere cleared his throat and looked him dead in the eyes.

"Sex education."

Beast felt the blush that he knew no one could see underneath his fur. His eyes widened, he was sure to a comical extent, and his heart started racing.

_This_ is what Lumiere wanted to talk about?

"Oh no! I'm certain I don't need to learn anything about that." He blustered, getting to his feet.

"Come back here, and sit down!" The voice wasn't quite hard, but it was commanding. At least enough to give Beast pause.

"We don't need to talk about this. I don't need to know any more than I what I do now." He spoke adamantly.

Lumiere sighed deeply, shaking his head.

"That statement just shows how much you don't know."

Beast threw up his hands in frustration.

"I'm not saying I know much. I'm saying that I don't need to know much. Because it isn't happening." There was an edge of melancholy to his voice, as if realizing how true the statement was.

"How would you know? You don't even know what sex is." Lumiere retorted, making Beast roll his eyes.

"I know enough to know that it's not happening." He returned dryly.

Lumiere remained silent, giving Beast a hard look.

Beast knew it was futile to resist, but he really didn't want to have this talk.

"Fine. What is it that you think I should know?" He refused to sit, instead choosing to stand off to the side.

Lumiere sighed in what Beast could only assume was in irritation.

"I think it would be best to start with what you know."

Beast stiffened, and pinched the bridge of his nose, before turning his back on Lumiere. There was no way he was getting through this conversation if he had to look at him.

"It's how children are made. And… from what I understand, it feels… good." Why was this so difficult? Why was it necessary?

"That is woefully undescriptive and underestimating, but not exactly inaccurate." Lumiere acknowledged.

"How descriptive am I supposed to be?" His voice might have been an octave higher than usual.

"I am not trying to embarrass you. I only want to make sure you are aware." He paused long enough that Beast turned to look at him. "Physical intimacy is one of the most special experiences a person can have. And I think it's very important that you know what all that entails from a physical and emotional perspective."

His words made sense, even if it was hard for Beast to accept them. He doubted that he'd have occasion to have those experiences. And he wondered if maybe it wasn't more than a little cruel to learn about something amazing he would never have the chance to enjoy.

"Can we just assume that I don't know anything, and that if this is something you want to talk about, you're going to have to explain what you want me to know."

Lumiere nodded.

"Fair enough." He paused for a moment. "Would it be easier for you if I describe it, or for you to read it?"

Beast knew he was blushing again.

"Uh… read?"

He nodded again and handed Beast the book.

"I will let you read some things first, then we will discuss them so that I know you understand. I want you to read Chapter 1 on human anatomy for both males and females. Chapter 2 talks about sexual intercourse. Start with those. You will probably be more comfortable reading alone, so I will leave you. It shouldn't take very long, but I will give you a few days to read and get comfortable with the idea of talking about this."

Beast nodded his head, knowing this would likely be the most painless option.

Though Lumiere left immediately, Beast stared at the book for a long time, uncertain about the knowledge hidden within.

Tentatively he opened the cover bracing himself for whatever was to come.

**AN: I hope you enjoyed this little chapter. Sex talks are great… yeah… sure. Poor Beast has no idea what's coming. Should I actually write about him and Lumiere having 'The Talk'?… oh the awkward!**

**Just a note, in my story Beast has a different background for becoming the way he is. I'll write that in at some point, but it's not the original tale.. in case y'all were wondering.**

**I'm just having fun with this story, but I hope y'all are enjoying it. Let me know what you think so far/ if there is something you'd like me to expand on **


	7. Ch7: Desire

**Ch 7: Desire**

**~Beast's POV~**

"_I will let you read some things first, then we will discuss them so that I know you understand. I want you to read Chapter 1 on human anatomy for both males and females. Chapter 2 talks about sexual intercourse. Start with those. You will probably be more comfortable reading alone, so I will leave you. It shouldn't take very long, but I will give you a few days to read and get comfortable with the idea of talking about this."_

_Beast nodded his head, knowing this would likely be the most painless option._

_Though Lumiere left immediately, Beast stared at the book for a long time, uncertain about the knowledge hidden within._

_Tentatively he opened the cover bracing himself for whatever was to come._

Beast sighed as he closed the book. Looking out the window of his office, he saw day had nearly turned to dusk.

The orange sun was sinking down below the horizon, with magnificent clouds of pink and purple surrounding it like a halo of color.

The sight should have been comforting, but after the heavy day of reading, Beast couldn't focus on the beauty before him.

His mind was rampant with thoughts about the book, about himself, and mostly now, about Ben.

It had all started simply enough. The book outlined basic anatomy that Beast was sure he'd learned at some point, though it seemed more common knowledge than anything else.

But as he read more deeply, he learned things he admitted he hadn't known. Or at least, things that he had experienced but never understood.

Like puberty.

He of course remembered some things, like how his voice had started to crack and deepen in strange intervals. How he'd grown several inches taller over a few short months. Even how hair had started to spring up in the most unexpected of places.

Yet all of this was quickly overshadowed in coming days when the curse befell him. He no longer worried about a little hair, because he was covered in fur. Growing a few inches? Try several feet. And his voice… it had gone from squeaks to menacing growls.

He'd never fully experienced the effects of becoming a man, because he was experiencing ones of becoming a beast.

And until now, he never thought about what else had changed.

But the book had some words about that too.

About the burning sensation he felt every time he looked at Ben. He'd spent days trying to understand the reaction, drawing blanks and feeling tight in his own skin. But now he had a word for it.

Desire.

The shock of understanding rocked him deeply.

In his younger days he'd never had the time to think of love or desire. He was too busy trying to prove himself. Working himself to exhaustion daily, in an effort to improve his strength and skill. He had to be the best. It was demanded of him, and he spared no thought for other things.

That included attraction.

In the far reaches of his memory he could almost picture a pretty maid who'd caught his eye a time or two. But any feelings he might have had were squashed by the demands of training.

His father's words echoed in his ears.

_You'll never be the best if you're distracted._

So he didn't allow himself to be.

And when the change occurred, no distractions were to be found.

But it was different now.

He felt every fiber of his being tingle when Ben was near. His stomach churned, and heart beat wildly in his chest.

The book explained these as physical manifestations of attraction, and Beast admitted it scared him.

He didn't quite understand his feelings.

Shouldn't he be feeling this for a woman? Wasn't that the point of desire? To create new life?

But his feelings for Ben wouldn't lead to that. And though the book was clear on the relationship between men and women, it said nothing of how men could feel for one another.

Was something wrong with him? Was this another side effect of being a Beast? And how did would Ben feel about this?

He wanted to believe Ben felt the same way, because then he wouldn't be so alone, but that was probably just his wishful thinking.

Beast rubbed his head feeling more confused than before.

At a light knock on the door, Beast called for them to enter, though he didn't rise from his seat at the balcony.

"Master. Dinner will be ready soon. Will you dine with Ben this evening?" Lumiere asked, hesitancy in his voice.

Beast shook his head.

"Not tonight. I have much on my mind."

Truthfully, with his newfound understanding of his feelings, he felt ashamed to be in the same room as Ben. He was afraid of what Ben might see.

"I was going to give you time, but I think we should talk now." Lumiere announced coming to stand beside him.

Beast gulped, feeling a more than a little helpless.

"I don't understand why I feel this way. Is something wrong with me?"

His words were remarkably soft and Lumiere patted his arm comfortingly at the admission.

"No, no. There is nothing wrong with how you feel. Nothing at all."

Beast wondered if he should elaborate. Maybe the candelabra didn't understand what he meant by his feelings.

"The book was only a starting point. There are many things it doesn't discuss. But before I continue, I'd like you to answer a question for me." Beast turned to face his friend, dreading the question he knew was coming. "You feel for Ben what you think you should be feeling for a woman, yes?"

There was no censure, just plain and simple words.

Beast nodded, hoping Lumiere could help with these feeling, and was more than a little surprised when a big smile filled the candlestick's face.

"Wonderful! I was hoping you did." He grinned.

Beast blinked in confusion.

"Why is this a good thing?"

Lumiere laughed.

"Because that means he makes you happy. And you want him. This is something you've never had before. And I'm happy you are becoming the man now you were meant to be."

The words startled Beast. How did this make him more of a man? The question must have been obvious on his face, because Lumiere laughed again.

"I'll explain. You have been so wound up in being a beast, that you never let yourself think about the other things you could have. You can still be happy even if things didn't go the way we wanted them too. And life doesn't have to stop because of that either. That you're realizing your more than just an animal means your growing, and that is what makes you a man. What you feel in here." He tapped Beast's chest lightly, motioning to his heart.

Beast sort of followed the logic, though he wasn't sure how any of what he felt was a good thing.

"But how I feel, this isn't normal, is it?" There was genuine fear in his voice, and Lumiere's eyes turned a smidge sad.

"What is normal? And why would you want to something so mundane as normal? If you are happy, if Ben makes you happy, is that not enough?"

Beast considered these words and found a sort of comfort in them.

Making Ben happy mattered to him. To see his smile, and the way his eyes light up with delight. It made him ache in the most pleasant of ways.

"I want it to be enough, but I don't understand how it's possible."

Lumiere nodded, understanding Beast's confusion on the matter.

"The book I had you read was only a start. Just enough to teach you what things are so that what comes next makes more sense." He elaborated, making Beast's ears perk. "The subject content isn't an easy one for many to discuss and I didn't want to rush you with too many things at once. I thought simple, if one-sided, was the best place to begin your education on the matter."

"So there's more?" Beast wondered how much more there could be. The book had been straightforward, and he wasn't sure where there was room to elaborate.

Lumiere laughed.

"Qui! There is much more. The book barely scratches the surface of love and love-making. Like learning to read, you have to know the words and parts before you can understand how they work together."

Hope filled Beast's chest as he looked at Lumiere. And what he thought would be embarrassing was now fascinating.

"Is there more to read then? Or will you explain it to me?" Lumiere smiled as if sensing the change in Beast's tone.

"Both. There is much to read. I have a few more volumes to suggest, though I think now would be a good time to answer any immediate questions you have."

Beast had many, many questions.

…

**~Belle's POV~**

**(several days later)**

Belle nibbled her lip as she paced her room. The week after she had spoken with Beast about creating a garden had left her feeling excited. She spent much of her time wrapped up in ideas of what to do. And when the supplies appeared, she had put herself to work with getting the lawn in order. Beast had been encouraging in the beginning, but as time passed, it seemed he had started to pull away from her.

At first it had been little things. Their meetings had become shorter, he'd been a little quieter too, then one night he didn't show up for dinner.

Or the next.

Or the day after that.

And again tonight.

She sighed loudly, flopping back on the bed.

He was probably just busy. And now that she had a job of her own to do, he didn't need to see her as much. She was well now, and needed less attention.

But the thought made her sad. She loved their evenings together. He made her feel so special and important.

No one ever looked at her like she meant something. She wasn't used to anyone caring about her opinion. But he did.

Belle knew she was being a bit unreasonable. He likely had other things to do besides wasting the day with her. And a man had a right to quiet evenings alone, if that was what he desired.

Still, she found herself feeling a bit blue and not at all in the mood for story time which was scheduled to start soon. Another reminder of his distance. He hadn't shown up the past few days for her nightly tales either.

With a reluctant sigh she pulled herself up off the bed and walked to the sitting room, where the crowd of servants waited for her.

She couldn't help feel a little better when she saw their eyes light up as she entered the room. And maybe a little overwhelmed as they all started talking at once.

"Hi Ben! I can't wait for the story tonight."

"Will you tell then one about the mermaid?"

"No, tell the one about the frog!"

"Oh Ben! The one about the princess with long hair!" The chipped teacup danced spritely at her feet.

"Whoa! Whoa," she smiled gently, patiently. "I was actually thinking of a different story tonight. One I haven't told before."

An excited hush fell over the room.

"This one is about a young woman who breaks the law to save her family." Eyes widened as she began the tale.

As she weaved the story of the young, accident-prone maiden, they leaned toward her in fascination. Sad looks were exchanged as she spoke of how the girl felt she let down her family. Surprised gasps sounded when she regaled the girl's decision to run away from home with a secret identity and fight in the place of her father.

Tears gathered in their eyes when the woman was hurt, and her secret identity found out.

"No! He can't kill her! He loves her!" Chip tittered eyes bright with unshed tears.

"Hush! Let her finish the story," Mrs. Potts comforted.

Belle smiled at their enthusiasm.

"It's okay Chip. Because you see what happened next, no one could have expected. Shang threw down the blade, declaring 'A life for a life'. Then they rode away, leaving her behind in the snow."

"That's unfair! She saved them all." Babette chimed in now.

Belle nodded solemnly.

"She did. But her lies made them distrustful of her. She had done what she thought was right, but they couldn't see it that way."

Belle wondered if they would blame her too, if they found out her secret. Would they shun her? Would they abandon her?

Her throat spasmed, as panic took hold.

"Are you alright Ben?" The matronly teapot asked. Belle forced a smile as she swallowed back her fears.

"Yes. Sorry." Clearing her throat, she continued the story through its happy ending. But when it was over, Belle didn't feel the normal sense of joy at the finish. Instead she felt a little hollow.

Feigning tiredness, she took her leave a littler earlier than normal and made her way back to her room.

She wasn't there long when a knock sounded at the door.

Belle sighed knowing it was Mrs. Potts checking in on her. She opened the door, fake smile in place, ready to brush off any concerns.

But it was Beast standing there instead.

"Oh." Her hand flew up to her heart as she looked up at him.

His brow was pleated with concern.

"Are you feeling ill? Mrs. Potts said you left early this evening." Worry colored his tone, and it spread warmth through her core.

"I, uh, I'm fine," she nearly stammered. His gaze made it hard to concentrate, and she wanted to kick herself for getting caught up in it. Her feelings were probably inappropriate considering he had been putting more space between them these past days. She needed to get a grip on reality.

He frowned deeply, and reached a hand out to press against her forehead. Her heart thundered at his touch. Their eyes locked and she knew he could literally hear her reaction. Embarrassed, she pulled back.

"I'm really fine. I was just a little tired today is all."

His eyes watched hers, an almost hungry edge filled them.

"You don't look tired."

Belle felt her blush deepen.

"Well, um, I guess I'm not exactly tired. I, uh," Belle trailed off, uncertain of what to say. She couldn't exactly tell him what was really on her mind.

Beast's eyes never left her face.

"If you aren't tired, maybe you would consider walking with me in the garden?"

Unsure of her voice, Belle nodded and followed him wordlessly out the door.

Belle remained silent as they made their way out of the castle into the courtyard. Only the sound of their steps could be heard along the path.

"The garden is looking beautiful. You've done a great deal in just a few short days."

The compliment took her off guard, uncomfortable, she shrugged off the praise and looked up at the fullness of the moon as it shined on her new winter flowers.

"You're more quiet this evening than usual."

Belle kept her eyes on the lawn.

"Am I?"

She tried to keep a neutral voice.

"Are you happy here Ben?"

Startled, she glanced over at him, surprised and curious at his question.

"We haven't seen much of each other this past week. I fear I've been neglecting you."

Belle wasn't sure what he'd say, but it wasn't that. And she felt his honesty deserved some in return.

"I've missed our conversations, but I understand that you're busy." Her words were gentle, and she hoped they didn't seem too attention starved, even if that technically was how she felt. "But to answer your question, being here is the happiest I've been in a long time."

His brows drew in, and mouth turned down into a deep frown. She wondered why saying she was happy would cause such a look?

"I've been wanting to ask you, what happened before you came here? How did you end up in the forest all alone?"

Belle froze at the question. She didn't want to lie to him, but she couldn't tell him the truth.

"I-," her words died on the cold air as she struggled to think of what to say. "I couldn't live with the family that had taken me in anymore. But I didn't have anywhere to go. I was hoping to find work somewhere, but I got lost in the woods."

She hoped he wouldn't probe further than that. Replaying the events in her head already had her nearly shaking in fear. Fear for what happened, but also fear of it happening again.

Warm hands gripped her shoulders, she looked up to focus on Beast's concerned eyes.

"I hope one day you will feel comfortable confiding in me. But for now, just know you are safe here. And I promise no harm will ever come to you." His eyes held absolute truth.

Unthinking, Belle pulled herself into his arms, wrapping her hands about his waist and squeezed. She just needed a moment of comfort she told herself. Her face buried into his chest and his warmth radiated through her. She found strength in his embrace.

It took her longer to find her composure than she expected, and when she stepped back, her cheeks were pink with embarrassment.

"Sorry, for, well, uh…" she trailed off blushing. "Thanks."

But Beast held nothing but a tender look in his eyes.

"Why don't you show me what you've been working on?"

Thankful for the change of topic, Belle smiled and pulled Beast deep into the garden, gaining confidence with every step.

**AN: Another chapter! I wonder why Beast was avoiding Belle? Maybe it had something to do with the**_** lessons**_** Lumiere was giving him... hmm**

**Thanks for all the support for this story. It means a great deal to me that many of you are excited to read it and see the relationship unfold. **


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